The Shopkeeper's thoughts

        When not working in the shop I paint pictures and write, I often have a go at writing poems, I have published a book of illustrated poems. Each poem I have written an introduction with thoughts on what inspired me. The book is called 'Poems by a Country Lass' I appeared on 'Britain's got Talent' the poem I performed was

The Battle of the Bulge

Fight the flab a battle

Many times a war

Weighing scales abandoned

In disgust upon the floor.

I have tried so hard to win

And the battle it's been long

A body once so slender

Just a memory now long gone

As the years passed by

The inches they have lengtherned

From a waist once sleek and trim 

A waist now I never mention

Stuffing cream cakes, wine,

Chips and chocolate bars

Once a time I walked

Now I rush around in cars

So a diet I start with relish

With this I soon fall down

To slim to fit a skinny dress

Must it fit I start to frown

A night out surely is what I need

All dressed up and looking good

I'll wine and dine and live it up

With friends around in festive mood

Perhaps a corset is the answer

'Marks and Sparks' will make me trim

I look at one a flattened tum'

Another to keep the bottom in

I try one on it is a struggle

The expanding lycre will not stretch

I try it round my rounded bottom

It will not budge I must confess

The assistant measures me, just to prove

"That Madams wrong the size is right"

I struggle, twist, it will not move

"This corset, I scream is far to tight"

The mangeress comes the scene

Stares a me inside this thing

Then a beguiling smile comes awe he face

"Why Madam you look nice and slim"

"Yes I do look rather slender

Yes a quick way to shed so much fat"

"Would Madam rather keep it on

Than have the corset nicely packed"

My breath is shallow I nod my head

I find my voice  it comes in gasps

My clothes now on the glass I glance

"Why yes I don't look quite so fat"

   My head held high I leave the store

Walking with a swaggering gait

I'm sure I hear a whistle or two

"Well they say it's never to late"

"Oh, how far" the car at last

Such relief, I must sit down

My body won't yield, so stiff in limb

My bottom I find I can't bend round

I travelled home hunched in the car

Crunched and feeling awful sore

A journey I remember well

A journey I'll not wish for more

Fed up and stiff, I only frown

As I struggle with my corset down
It's not much fun this looking slim

And gladly fling it in the bin

Magazines glare back at me

With girls so lovely and so trim

The battle's lost, but I am happy

The cost was much to be so slim

So now I let it all hang out

The bits no longer in their place,

Middle age spread is here to stay

I don't care 'cause I feel great.

by Judith Owston