The Stony Faced Woman

The Stony Faced Woman

Winter is The Shopkeeper’s worse months once Christmas is over, trade just seems to collapse. The big shops in towns have their January sales; to have sales in January in a touristy area with tourists thin on the ground just does not work, so the poor shopkeeper finds it on the whole quite a depressing time. Spring cleaning looms its burly head only the enthusiasm does not, in a gift shop cleaning is not the easiest task as knocking over small ornaments and smashing them is easily done.

So The Shopkeeper doggedly gets out all her cleaning utensils and unhappily goes to work; of course just as she is about to clear a shelf of a set of six cut lead crystal brandy glasses, in flies a young boy not seeing the ladder crashes into it The Shopkeeper balanced on one of the rung’s of the ladder holding a brandy glass of cut glass lead crystal wobbled grabbed the side of ladder the crystal glass flew up in the air and landed on the boy’s head then rolled down the back of the youngsters head as the boy fell over to the floor the glass then rolled gently onto the ground, miraculously after its untimely adventure the glass was still in one piece.

The Shopkeeper feeling rather shaken after her experience, to her distress found her self facing a very Stony Faced Woman “what is going on” a loud booming voice spat into the face of the shaken shopkeeper. The Stony Faced Woman then looked down at the clumsy boy and yelled “you get up” grabbing him by the collar and as she moved her feet she trod on the lead crystal brandy glass, THE miraculous glass from the set of six “what was that” she loudly exclaimed as she looked down at her feet. Turning to the Shopkeeper “you are very careless leaving glassware lying about on the floor” The Shopkeeper opened her mouth to explain but The Stony Face Woman continued in her very loud ranting voice. “My boy could have cut himself on that glass when he fell” still speaking very loudly as she pushed her offspring out of the door “I don’t know the standard of service is falling by the minute”.
This episode angered The Shopkeeper who muttered to herself “ha’, the standard of politeness has disappeared with some people”. She then busily cleared up the mess of glass and sadly thought to her self “that has spoiled the set of six brandy glasses I suppose I will have to reduce considerably to clear”. When to her amazement The Stony Faced Woman strode back into the shop “by the way have you got a set of brandy glasses, I would like a good set 'hand cut lead crystal” The Shopkeeper smiled and said "I have a set of four on special offer and the manufactures are giving away an extra one free in case you break one", lifting down the brandy glass with the price tag tied round the stem from the incomplete set of six. The Shopkeeper calmly showed The Stony Faced woman the glass “this one is from the set of four with the extra one thrown in, please forgive my pun” The Smiling Shopkeeper handed The Stony Faced Woman the brandy glass whose face was set in a cold curt unforgiving expression she looked at the glass with a critical eye “is this the price” she said examining the price tag The Shopkeeper replied “yes and it is a very good price considering you get the extra one free” The Stony Faced Woman sensing a bargain off handedly said “parcel the brandy glass set up, my husband will put them in the car” just then a small quiet Apology of a Man came into view
“Yes dear”
“take the parcel to the car and don’t let the boy near it” the stony face woman give out her orders in her brusque manner The Shopkeeper nicely finished the wrapping of the Brandy glasses and handed the parcel over to the Apology of a Man who timidly smiled back at her.
Then she graciously asked “are you paying by card or cash”

“Cash” The Stony Faced Woman announced counting the notes out on the counter the Smiling Shopkeeper tilled up the money and thanked the couple the Apology of a Man smiled a weak smile back as he carried the parcel clutched tightly under his arm.

The Stony Faced Woman strode out in front with her nose up in the air while the Apology of a Man trotted meekly behind. The Shopkeeper watched the couple with a broad smile on her face still smiling she turned to the ladder and thought “that’s enough spring cleaning for today” and gathered up her utensils, ladder and put them away.
© Judith Owston